List of Things to Do with a Time Machine!

From the Fine Folks at YWS (http://www.youngwriterssociety.com) I present,



100 (and counting) things to do with a time machine.




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1) Feed Hitler a bacon sandwich.

2) Kill Judas.

3) Put a rocket pack onto the Doc's time travel car.

4) Travel so far into the future that the earth's orbit pattern changes, resulting in your time machine reappearing in the middle of space.

5) Write "Save the cheerleader, Save the world" in hieroglyphics on an Egyptian tomb.

6) Travel back in time with a large space-going battleship (if you have one) and Freak out the locals. Constructive. How about conquer them and set yourself up as supreme emperor? That never ends well. Well, if you terrorize them you'll end up in a comedy. At least as emperor you'd have a sweet ride up until the point you die.

7) Kill those vikings, then.

Plagiarize the Bible and reserve the copywright.

9) Teach Attila? the Hun to make 'your face' jokes. //so much love for this.

10) Kill Julius Caesar and keep Cleopatra for yourself. She wasn't that hot. Not the point. Plus she sucked as a queen. Who cares? You've made history as Cleo's lover or whatever. XDThere are other hot important queens in history. Again, who cares?Olympia, for one. Wait, Caesar and Cleo were a thing? I thought that was Marc Antony? They both were!

11) Stop Columbus' expedition to the Americas.

12) Travel back in time and steal an Archeological object before it can be found. Proceed to sell it once back in the future. Or rob Picasso's works or something. That, too XD

13) Create a race of mole men. Why? Cause you can do that with a time machine.But you can do so much more.

14) Send back a futuristic history book to an ancestor or something o-0 so that they might have ...."prophetic" knowledge. Or steal a book from the future so you have that knowledge :/ that's no fun. Where's the sense of adventure ? 8D Knowledge is power.

15) Give a copy of Star Wars to some 1950s people and tell them it's a recording of the future.(or BSG. Or FireFly) Or Stargate.

16) Travel to the point in the future when space travel is common. Live there as a smuggler or something. Or travel to the point when it's being invented and set yourself up as the inventor.

17) Travel to the future and change events so that you're rich, powerful, and stuff. Or just copy whatever artistic movement springs up and make loads of money.

18) Attend a live Shakespearean play.<3<3 Or copy his plays and kill him. O-o

19) Go back in time and find a famous author, proceed to "borrow" said author's ideas and publish it in your name.

20) Borrow Walt Disney's, Lego's, and George Lucas's ideas.

21) Pitch (insert favorite movie here) to (insert relevant movie studio here).

22) Go back in time and switch the baby of a rich family out for you baby-self. Proceed to inherit everything.Or just kill the family and set yourself up as the inheritor. That's no fun.But it's efficient. And suspisious.

23) create links between Black, and White holes. There-by create a wormhole of sorts allowing true, instanteuous travelWhut?

24) Or appropriate yourself of Wikipedia, no Google's, rights.

25) Travel to the future, obtain a space-ship and explore the universe. Proceed to "discover" an earth-like planet upon returning to your present-time. Win Nobel Prize/whatever it is for doing that.

26) Hug an android (preferably not a terminator one.).

27) Find / steal a pet dinosaur or dodo! Steal more than one! And BREED Them! XD Or... okay, I have no idea.

28) Create a Temporal police service to stop all the crazy time travelers from stealing and killing everyone. <3 Or become the head of one of the two organizations.

29) Take over the universe; proclaim yourself supreme overlord. XD Proceed to "fix" things in your favour throughout time.

30) Observe historical events that were shrouded in mystery. i.e. Ameilia Earnharts disappearence (Even though we now know what happened to her.).

31) Domesticate ostriches<3 (they already did that btw. They have ostrich races.) Beat the person to it.

32) Go have awesome chats with all the awesome people who inconsiderately died before you had a chance to see them live / interview them / and all this stuff.

33) Kill the person who created the Temportal police service. And then the service that is xir legacy will hunt you down

34) Go back in time to see how all the well-known, famous, infamous events in time ACTUALLY went down. Proceed to write a very detailed novel/series of novels on them.

35) Convince your parents of the importance of a cool car, top of the range mp3 players, laptops and internet connections before they are invented. Return to the future and live in luxury.

36) Teach Einstein modern physics. and complain about the headaches relativity has given youlol

37) Create synthetic wormholes.

38) Steal and plagerise #34 Haha <3 xD

39) Reject Twilight's manuscript<33

40) Publish a Better version of Twilight before Meyer does and de-glitterfy Edward. YES. XD

41) Become influential in movie history and block the terrible films from being made.

42) Prove string theory through direct observation.

43) Go to the future/past and discover the secret to Immortality. Return to present time and live to be the oldest person on the planet. XD (that'd stink though. I mean, It'd get boring plus if you had a lethal disease but never died? Yuck. cf Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged. Of course, you discover/"borrow" the cures to every possible disease there is, including Cancer, etc, etc.)

44) Travel to the future, find out the fix to the present economic situation and report to the President.

45) Create a series of domed cites on the sea floor. around 2500BC <3 And become the supreme emperors of them all. Create your own epic xD Make sure you own the copywrights.

46) Take #25 and colonise said planet with a group of people you adore/who adore you. Make yourself Emperor of it. Of the galaxy! Haha, yes.

47) Steal a 2013 calendar and prove that the world still exists. I would do that just to have it on my wall.It would be a spiffy calendar. 13 being so lucky and all Or predict the important events and make money.

48) Lock Doctor Who and Doc Brown in a room and watch them debate the laws of physics.
Or steal the rights to their shows. You say 'shows' as if they are merely works of fiction O.o They make money. Enough.

49) Assassinate Hitler (After feeding him that bacon sandwich). And his clones.Make sure you copy his ideas and use them for your empire domination plan...minus the mistakes.

50) *thinking* travel to the future to figure out what #50 is Good one. Huh?XD

51) Upon finding out what #50 is, proceed to forget about it.

52) Go find out the questions on your next exam paper and prepare yourself suitably. Heck, the whole school year.

53) Sign a historic document (such as the declaration of independance) just for kicks & giggles.<3 No, sign all important documents in history and become famous.

54)Create a Small timetravel capable UAV. Use it to spy on the future. Before it eats us. Or make money out of it by investing. And conquering. And inventing.

55) Go to the future, find out about an environmentally friendly engine, steal/borrow it and the plans, etc, and return to the present. Proceed to claim said idea as your own.*Ahem* 1920. They had a fully functioning electric engine that could operate indefinetly without recharge. So why did it not take off? Really?yep. They went with oil instead. oh, wait I'm wrong it was because of govermental lobbying. Typical. Huh, bakas. Appropriate the ideas and make money.

56) Find out about a livable planet and colonize it as Emperor.

57) Become childhood best friend of *insert billionaire celebrity here*. No, kill the celeb and impersonate him/her, or just inherit stuff by inserting it in his will and murdering him. Simple.

58) Go to the past. Tell yourself to make food. Go to the future. Reap the reward. Ohgodparadoxes, my brain xD Wow, that was so useful. No, own MCDonalds or whatever. <3 Laziness conquered. But what about all the hassle of goign to the future and making said sandwich in the future? You still have to make it. Don' burst my bubble = . =

59) Travel to the past and warn all those in power/whatever before a natural disaster occures. Saves millions of lives. Pat yourself on the back and return to your present. And reap the rewards.

60) Discover Australia and name it Audyland.Haha! Or become supreme emperor.

61) Go back in time and tell everyone who thought the world was flat that it is actually round. Show them a modern globe to prove it. XD And be acclaimed as a prophet.

62) Invest all the money you earned by following my schemes and make a better future for Earth. Also, immortality.

63) Reference #1 and #49; Hilter chokes on his bacon sandwhich. And you use his schemes for good. And money. Same thing, basically. And taking over the world. Can't forget that. Yes, we cant.

64) Invest in charities and orphanages and stuff to be loved, thus protecting yourself from propaganda and stuff. Then make more money by selling the rights to your story.

65) Become Dr. House.

66) Get to facebook before Zuckerberg did. Have a decent user privacy policy. And make tons of money out of it. If I cared about the money more, I wouldn't bother with the sensible privacy policy. cf what Zuckerberg did

67) OVERTHROW THE ROMAN CHURCH ! Do something good for Italy! And the world, I guess.

68) Monopolize chocolate. :O And make tons of money. ...I was actually gonna say, so you can eat it for yourself :3 But make money too. That would be one massive indigestion.

69) Prove that the Bible is merely a fabrication of a human mind. Naw, let the people believe it's real, but be sure to reserve the copyrights. Nope, they can suffer the letdown. Keep it religion friendly, guys. Okay, but make money out of it too by disclaiming it. Later discover that it's actually true. And make money.

70) Wait until Illuminist has aquired billions, then steal it! Bwaha. YUS! Or prevent that happening and kill the would be assassinator.

71) Design a time-travel cloacking devise to prevent time-caused assassinations. And keep the rights to it, selling them only when you secretly develop a better one.

72) Make contact with an alien race after taking over the earth. Replace key seats of power with alien personel. And manipulate them to make money. Dystopian plots whirling in my mind DD:

73) Keep a watch out on the future for imminent Vogon constructor fleets, or design them and make money.

74) Construct an egalitarian utopia in Antarctica where money is worthless so as to prevent Italian from usurping another number. Destroy that colony, then set yourself up as ruler of the new Sun Empire. Egalitarian utopia*. Sun Empire.

75) Create a/the virus that cases the Zombie Apocalypse. Go back in time and sabotage your own lab to prevent it. Or make money out of it by selling weapons and stuff to the government, while secretly continuing the zombie invasion to make more money. Screw mankind. Or hold the world to ransom with the virus. Or the Cure. XD. No, fund them, then hold the world for ransom.

76) Monopolize the banks, sabotage Japan, then kill everyone else with a time machine, then sabotage the discovery of immortality. Better yet, hold it for ransom, and colonize Space. Then make everyone immortal once everything depens on you.

77) Take #75 and create a Haven before releasing said virus. Make people pay to enter it; shoot infected on sight. Also own the industries.

78) Pass a bunch of internet freedom laws before anyone even thinks of internet censorship laws. And reserve the rights, monopolizing the internet.

79) Change the things that ended the industrial revolution and observe the consequences of a corrupt, immoral, Profit centric society. Also, whilst ruling it. No ruling stuff. Observation only. Haven't you ever seen star trek? Whilst ruling.

80) Feed the starving children. And become famous and rich because of it. Monopolize africa.

81) Create perpetual motion machine by using time travel tricks and sell the rights don't sell the rights, patent it and sell machines f0r millins once you've installed virus them that will destroy , thus making you the only owner, and make others come back for more.

82) Invest in a coffee business. Call it Audybucks.<33333 I'd buy coffee from there. An audybucks on every corner. 8D It'll be great. Then, sabotage it and make money. I don't even.

83) Kidnap key persons in power; replace them with clones loyal only to you. Rule from afar. Excellent. Something worthy of me. Clone yourself as well, just in case, but keep the clones in a vegetative state until you want to transfer yourself into the clone.Back ups, sort of thing. Bah, You'll be a minion ilum.Not really.

84) Go back and give your angsty teenage self the slap in the face they deserve [where applicable]

85) Create a Super race of vegitables. Then, Watch thier culture develop. Create a war between that and another race and profit.

86) Go and watch the old episodes of things like Dr Who that got lost. Save the recordings from being written over. (and then sell them in the present, if you want millions, Ita) No, borrow the ideas and make money.

87) Cheat in every game you ever play. (By gonig to the future and seeing what cards,e tc, you're dealt). Or borrow the ideas and make money. Do both, actually. Yes. That was my idea.

88) go back to the beginning of humanity and spread a brain reliant parasite among the first few hundred humans, that would reproduce an eventually control the worls leaders, creating wars for their INSERTamusment. And make money by providing all sides with stuff.

89) Play number wars. SUBLIMINALWhat? Stumped you, ha!.... make money, somehow?

90) Travel to the future & steal your degree,MESSAGES no, cheat to get an awesome degree. You can't cheat Yes, predict the test questions and stuff. But what about if you want an English degree? There's no test questions to predict. Most degrees require practical work. Then kill the teachers and substitue them with compliant clones.

91) Buy a number of naval ships, past, present and future. Proceed to play Battleship with them. xDXD I love this. Haha. Inspired by the movie "Battleship" >.> Borrow the idea for battleship, the game and the movie. Steal it fromt he past, first....

92) Travel to the past, Live there in harmony. Whilst making money.

93) Never have to wait for the next episode of a TV series. By borrowing the ideas and making money.

94) Terraform Mars to make it fit for human habitation. Proceed to sell off plots of land but leave no way to get there; then exploit it. Do the same to every other planet out there.

95) Remove the earth's atmosphere slowly by placing a black hole just out of range. .... No, that'd kill you and waste the money I gained. Bah,

96) Create the ultimate villain; let said villaim loose on the world. Sit back and watch the show. While manipualting events from afar.

97) After #96, proceed to save the world by detroying said villain. And reap the rewards.

98) Go back in time to see if the legends of King Aurthur and Camelot, etc, are actually true. Return to the future with Aurthur to prove it.But no money...

99) Trademark every slang word you can think of. Proceed to reap the rewards. Trademark EVERYTHING that ever was, is, and will be, and THEN reap the rewards. HA! YES. That, right there!

100) Go to the future and take #100 space.

101) Now that I am so rich, I spend the money on parties, women, and everything I want. Gee willickers, turn the world into your party. Also, seeing as you're immortal... ETERNAL PARTY!!

102) "Borrow" all the money in the world. Manipulate everything. No, borrow all the banks in the world, then instaurate your own currecny and cause inflation, thus rendering only your currency usable.

103) Destory the Earth with a galactic particle string. Steal the minerals. travel back in time, Reap the rewards. Steal everything, Mons, minus the destruction bit.

104) Create a super inteligent race of machines. See what happens. Manipulate the coming war.

105) When said machines from #104 take over the world, go back in time and sabotage the plans for them, thereby saving the world. Or let the conflict continue, make money, then saboatge the plans and be considered a hero. Or that.That works too.

106) Create an alternate histroy in which the current reality replicates the TV show FireFly. Live there. Manipulate the events.

107) (<--- Best Idea EVAH. TOTES!) Colonize a planet, blow the world up, then rebuild a new one out of the ashes, minus all the current problems, with me, no, us. We can have a ruling supergovernment. as supreme Emperor. ... Okay, deal. I'll be in charge of economy (and assassination) XD The two are undistinguishable with me involved.

108) Go to past/future, assassinate yourself.

109) Declare war on Scar and and Ital. accept their surrender. Create all mighty interstellar Conglomerate with Scar and Ilum. Ruling the Universe, Mono? Yep. No, Dictatorship.Yay! XD Then you two wouldn't get to co-rule. I'd have to kill you. You can't kill me, though. Immortal.
fine. In definite stasis. Ooo-rah. No, I manipulate you guys into servingh me. Pfft. RIiight.
- 109.5) Return to the past, kill mons, and establish an iron treaty that prevents all YWS'essers part of this from attacking each other.

110) Gather all YWS members in the time machine & have a house party. <3

111) Make List Sentient.

112) Later destory list.

117) Erase traces of existance for numbers 113-116Hey! They don't like that D:

118) Un-assassinate Kennedy

119) Change the outcomes of the Cuban Missile crisis.

120) Rewrite the entire history of the world, starting from the Big Bang. Make the Big Bang become the Big Implosion. (thanks!) Even though the universe started as a singularity.

121) Referring to #120, set everything up so that in the end, you rule the universe and everything beyond. YEEESSSS!!!! UNLIMITED POWERRR!

122) Destroy maths. Also, but retain the ability to count, thus placing everyone in your dependece. Or, you could just destroy maths after middle school level. No More calcu/trig/whatever it's called.Hey, I LIKE string theory.What is the string theory? Oo Sounds familiar but....nothing.Fine. Make Maths optional.

123) In referrence to #120 and #121, go to the future and destroy the world. Return to the present and predict the end of the world. Wait for the chaos. Sit back and watch the show.

124) Change #117 to say that 113-116 were deleted for "national security" reasons.<3<3haha

123) - backward numbers! wait what. Oh ignore me.) Prevent 9/11! (11/9 if you're in the other bit of the world)

126) Change #125 to #123 and purely to confuse people.Whaaat?

127) Make Pi a rational number.And watch as a vortex of doom appears.And throw Pi Down it.

128) Make a note to switch #1 with #100.

129) Learn a British accent so as to have a podcast-friendly voice.I already have one! Woot 8D :c LuckyxD Come to Britain!I should. I'm pretty quick at picking up accents if I hear it often enough.I don't understand what all the fuss is about. xDI would settle on having *any* accent

130) Go back in time merely to play Pirate for a year and bury your bounty in a spot you can later return to and dig up.... Don't forget to broadside a ship while you're at it!

131) Go back in time and spray paint Graffiti over any cave-paintings you find.

132) Go back in time to find out if Dragons were real. If they were; capture one and bring it back to your present. Proceed to "train" it to eat everyone you don't like.

133) Destroy the existence of homework.

140) Remove all traces of 134-139 on the bounds that they were pointless.

141) Repeat #131 over and over again.

142) Assassinate all homework-giving teachers.

143) Find out what these <- side numbers are

144) Forget to mention where you went all the time to wife/husband/lover/partner/signifcant other. Proceed to erase existance of said wife/husband/lover/partner/signifcant other. After telling them of your adventures, of course.

145) Accidently find out that you are your own Ancient Ancestor.....

146) Confuse yourself with the paradox that is trying to work out if you remember yourself from when you went back in time before you actually go back in time.

147) BECOME your ancient Ancestor.

148) Suddenly realise that your entire life is a huge, inter-galatic joke, and utterly pointless. Become depressed.

149) Go back in time and preserve all life DNA sequences.

150) Build a planet in seven days; destory it in seconds. Laugh manically.

151) Push ALL the buttons and save the big red button for last. If something bad happens, go back in time! Repeat the process again, and again, etc, etc.

152) Go back in time and make crop circles. Take pictures and return to present. Proceed to watch in amusement as the world goes ET nuts. Then sell the photos.